Well this was a horrible article to stumble upon while browsing the internet to try and find some help in coping with my disorder.
I am 23. I am a female. I have BPD. All of my relationships have been unstable. I have a hard time controlling my emotions day to day. But that doesn't mean I am incapable of loving. In fact, I feel I have been more capable at loving than some other people I know who are not suffering this disorder.
just because you had a horrible, personal experience doesn't mean that that is how ALL of us are. All of your suggestions are horrible. Why would you threaten someone who is suffering self harm or alcoholism? How do you think that will establish trust in the relationship, let alone trust for them to come to you when they are feeling unstable? Would you threaten someone with cancer that if they show any symptoms, you will take them to the chemo center and subject them to shaming them for asking help with their symptoms? People with BPD don't understand the concept of manipulation. Being manipulative is coercing someone to do something for you without them knowing you know you are doing so. In my personal experience, I have never been manipulative on purpose because of my BPD. I have simply not had the coping mechanisms to deal with intense feelings. From what you have written, it sounds like your ex was partially suffering from BPD as well was an abusive partner. You have to learn to differentiate the two; just because your partner was abusive on top of being Borderline, doesn't mean the rest of us are; and because of articles like this, it is even harder for people suffering to find help. So thanks, I hope one day you receive counselling as well.