Becky, though you claim to have had BPD yourself, I find this article very unsympathetic and dangerous. You are not a therapist, you should not be giving people advice that could adversely impact the lives of those you know are capable of self harm and suicide. If I, a borderline individual, one who actively seeks help, cops to my negative actions, takes steps to protect those I care about when I feel episodes coming on, were to miss out on a potential relationship because my SO read this and got frightened, I don't know what I'd do! True, people with BPD who don't take responsibility and don't seek to heal themselves are often horrible, (sick, but horrible) it gives you no right to paint us with the same brush. We aren't all Glenn Close in 'Fatal Attraction', and you would know that if you ever had BPD. Some of us are Vincent Van Gogh, and maybe if people were all a bit nicer to him, things wouldn't have worked out the way they did. [moderated]