Oh my god, me and a friend have bpd and yes we admit we can be manipulative when our overthinking and paranoia kicks in, and suffer with the rest of some the symptoms you described (I also suffer bipolar), but that is just to an extreme! I’ve read that most male bpd patients act out more darkly (again, from what I read), and he needs serious help. The older someone gets the worse the bpd can definitely get. Sounds like he has mild to probably severe BPD. He needs help pronto! Me and my friend only only have it moderately to mild and we are desperate to get help and to get better. My therapist/psychologist has told me that men are more narcisstic and more stubborn to admit their faults and to say they need help than women do. I can see that with nearly all my male relatives.