Where do I start?
I was born and bread in a tiny rural village of very caring parents but we were pretty poor but in no way neglected. I used to play out with other kids and one particular boy who was 8 years older than me who went to a private boarding school and so would only be home at school holidays and the odd weekends.
He was keen athlete and I was thus very impressed with this and he started to teach me better techniques for running, jumping etc. He told me one weekend that it always improved his performance if he got rid of his "spunk" and asked if I would help him. I had no idea what it involved so I said yes; I was only 8 years old.
We walked across the fields to the banks of a local stream, and he took out his cock and asked me to start playing with and stroking it and that's where it all started. He was 8 years older than me and a fit and healthy 16 year old and I was very impressed with his cock; it was ofcourse much bigger then mine; a fact that i realised later would have massive effects on my self image etc.
It felt very exciting to me as my sexuality was starting to develop and I learnt to masturbate at a very young age way before I could ejaculate. I told no one of our secret although I can't recall any threats being exerted on me not to tell. I think I realised that it was very naughty and so I would not tell.
This carried on for nearly 2 years off and on during school holidays, etc, and each time we would repeat the process on most days when he was at home. Because he was much taller than me I virtually was looking straight down at his big cock in front of me and so when he suggested that I put it in my mouth I did just that very slowly to start with just kissing his glans, but then as he forced/encouraged me more I gradually I learnt to put it inside my mouth and ofcourse he would ejaculate in my mouth.
That was when the absolute shame started to overwhelm me; I was a boy who sucked another boy's cock, and my personality changed dramatically and I became that very shy and introverted young boy and full of shame at my body etc.
He asked me once when we were alone in his Mum and Dad's house (He was a local JP) if he could insert his cock up my anus; I refused as I thought that it would be way to painful but it was then that he told me that senior boys at his school would regularly get junior boys to do that for them. Still I resisted and it never too place. I often wonder what happened to those abused young boys and how enshrined in the school was that behaviour.
I put all of this to the back of my mind, and it is only recently that I have told anybody about it and ofcourse I now realise how it has shaped so much of my personality and my lifestyle.
Low self worth, very poor body image, I wouldn't dare make any sexual advances with any girl or woman until I was about 21 because of the size issue and it was only later that a girl that I met on holiday in Spain told me that I was spoiling her for other men did I realised that I really didn't have an issue.
I have no idea whether my early sexualisation impacted me or not but I have always since then been a lover of sex and I still am and am in a very loving and sexually active relationship. I really have allowed it to dominate much of my life and have soured many friendships by behaving inappropriately, and I still do more's the pity. I have however never ever abused any other person and have always been very conscious of not passing the abuse down the chain.
Strangely though I seem to have developed very caring and close relationships with women who have been abused or raped at critical young ages and I have always been a supportive and caring friend in their lives, and draw a huge amount of pride in that.
I still much prefer the company of women to men and as such have very very few male friends.
Not surprisingly I have a massive hatred of the private education system and know that wholesale abuse is the order of the day in so many such establishments but ofcourse never reported.