I've lost my biological mother to overdose on drugs, been adopted, grew up being molested by my brother for years (9-12), lost my virginity by being raped (14) forcefully and painfully, and have been assaulted several times. I lost all hope and self worth was very promiscuous in my teens and very early 20's and even got so low I got hooked on drugs for a while and even sold myself once. I always thought I was just this bad person that had a sex issue but finally realizing its stemmed from my childhood sexual traumas. I lost my fiancé because he couldn't deal with my past he knew too much and thought my promiscuity was my choice. I couldn't talk about my traumas with him in fear of losing him I shut down and had really bad anxiety when he brought up my sexual past. It was too much for him to handle and I was bringing him down. We lost a child together and now I lost him. I am completely just at wits end and finally seeking help. I don't know if anyone would ever be able to love me with all that I've done and been through. This is my first time ever speaking out about this and always swept it under the rug but finally realizing my traumas are effecting my life.. I think I may have PTSD personality disorder, anxiety, or some type of issues could this be this really be the reason or did I bring this onto myself?