I was sexually abused at age 9-14, then at 15-17 I was sexually harassed by the same person who sexually abused me (I'm currently 18). For a majority of all my life and main developmental phases, all I've known is abuse and exploitation.
All my memories in regard to the early stages of abuse have faded in and out over the years. I remember when it first happened, when it got serious, and when it started taking a toll on my mental development and how I perceive sex and relationships.
I began consuming unhealthy amounts of pornographic content, then I began re-exposing myself to sexual abuse by talking to strangers online, I began engaging in promiscuous behaviors and acts, developing destructive kinks on the brink of abuse, and then I went so far as to take explicit and compromising photos of myself which were then sent to a stranger online who wanted to hurt me for his own fun.
I've since stopped a majority of those activities, all that remains is my unhealthy relationship with pornographic content, and residual promiscuous behaviors which I deter by interacting only with family, friends, and coworkers since it's only then my promiscuous behaviors never occur.
I've also found better ways to cope without being destructive to myself, through working out, doing art, and having the occasional self-hug and cry session taking a moment to remind myself I'm okay, and that my emotions are valid.
I haven't yet begun to truly heal from the years of physical and mental abuse, but with each day I'm getting better.
My ultimate reasoning for typing this was just to let someone out there know that I'm doing okay...