All of this resonates with me. I still miss the friends I had in highschool, but as soon as we finished school we grew apart very quickly. I had volatile emotions and made bad choices. It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I got a diagnosis and found out I wasn't the only one like that. The road to healing has been hard work, and am only now learning what it takes to be a friend. Listen, think before I speak, remember who I am and what I value, and most importantly have patience with others and show kindness. I try to be ok on my own so that I don't become obsessive over the relationship, and therefore do not have to worry about abandonment.