I went out with friends on Saturday. It started with a girls dinner and then we met up with our guy friends after. I had had a particularly stressful day and was feeling a bit anxious already. I started with a pregame at one friend’s house doing a couple tequila shots. We ate dinner and I had two martinis. Not the wisest decision. I also think for some reason when I’m around everyone in my friend group and we are bar hopping my mind switches to binge drink mode. That’s what we have done much of in the past. I rarely binge drink now or get blackout drunk anymore so I felt extremely anxious and hungover the next day. After dinner we went to a bar and took lots of Jell-O shots and I just randomly started crying for no reason. Not making a scene or anything but still. Embarrassing. The night is spotty though. I remember going to another bar and signing up for karaoke but it was too late. I’m thankful that we left before I got a chance to sing. After the second bar we went to a friends house and continued drinking. I remember having an u comfortable conversation with a friend and spilling too much. Getting too personal and sad. This is pretty out of character for me but I’m going to take it as a sign to reach out to my therapist. This never would have happened had I not drank so much but I was already feeling kind of low so it definitely didn’t help. Anyway I know my conversation with said friend left a bad taste in her mouth as she thought I was insulting her. I just feel so embarrassed because we were supposed to be celebrating and I really killed the mood with my belligerence. It’s been two days so I’m not feeling as much self loathing but boy was yesterday rough. Sometimes I wonder if I may have a problem because I do love a drink.