Hi Tucker,
I'm so sorry to hear you hurt yourself again, but know that it is not something you need to feel ashamed of. We all have difficult times in our lives, and we all have trouble coping sometimes—for self-harmers like you and me, sometimes we go back to hurting ourselves even when we wish we wouldn't. Stopping is hard, but it isn't impossible and it IS worth it.
If you haven't yet, try reaching out to a therapist or other professional if you can. It can make such a big difference to have someone like that in your corner. If nothing else, your school should have some sort of free counseling option; see if you can find out more about that, if you haven't already. Even if that's not an option right now, try and talk to someone else if you can, someone you trust and who will be supportive and really listen. Please also check out this resource page when you have a moment:
https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
I am not a therapist, nor do I know the full details of your situation. So unfortunately I can't give you a list of steps that will definitely lead to your being able to get clean. But know that you CAN do it, even if you have to do it on your own (I did). I can't say if this will work for you, but for me the first big step was figuring out WHY I wanted to get better. Not wanting scars is good, but I'll bet you have other reasons too, probably even more compelling ones. Think about it for as long as you need to. Once you find your answers, remind yourself of them often and especially whenever you want to hurt yourself. Write them down, draw pictures, whatever it takes to keep those reasons fresh in your mind.
It's also important to recognize WHEN you're hurting yourself and specifically WHY. If there are triggers you can avoid or change, do so. (For example, I used to hurt myself most often when I stayed up super late. Going to bed earlier was one thing that helped deter my urges.) For the triggers you can't avoid or change, you'll need to find some coping methods. If you don't know any offhand, for now start simple. For me, urge surfing is really helpful:
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/2/using-self-harm-urge…
Journaling and finding other creative outlets for your feelings is also a big help for most people. If you're not sure what to try, just try whatever sounds interesting. Worst case scenario: you won't find a particular option helpful, in which case you can stop (after giving it a fair chance) and try a different option. Some people like art therapy, some like music, others like writing; I use whichever of the three appeals to me most in that moment.
These are all just ideas to get you started. I hope this helps. Feel free to reply here or elsewhere if you have more questions or concerns; I'll try to respond as soon as I can.
Take care,
Kim