My boyfriend and I had a house party on Saturday. I was pretty stressed about the entire thing leading up to it as I’ve never hosted anything before. The night started off good everyone was having fun and it was going pretty well. By 11.30 I was completely smashed drunk, just being annoying and obnoxious, behaving in ways I wouldn’t normally sober. There was a guy at the party, let’s call him Jack, I didn’t want him there particularly, he’s never given me a good impression and has a history of acting very strangely and badly. His friend let’s call him Gordon, is friends with my boyfriend and brought him along with him. Anyway around that time in the night Jack fell over and smashed through our window and took the whole thing out. Everyone came rushing over and me being completely drunk decided to yell at him to leave and pushed him out the door. I don’t totally remember what I was saying but I just remember being pretty aggressive and mean, to the point where other people were commenting on me being really upset. Then later in the night I was hanging out with Gordon and another friend of my boyfriends and was trying to play fight them. It wasnt serious fighting but I was still trying to push them and slap them for some ridiculous reason. I remember them laughing at it but I was just being so idiotic, like that is not something I would normally do at all I’m not sure what came over me. I feel completely shameful about my behaviour, I can’t believe I acted so ridiculously. This is the worst hangover anxiety I’ve felt in a long time, I don’t know how to deal with it. I want to apologise to everyone I was being so crazy around but I’m also so embarrassed that I don’t want to draw attention to it either. I’m looking on the internet for ways to deal with this shame, and trying to find other people that have felt the same way and messed up in drunken ways before. Writing this is making me feel slightly better but if anyone has any other solutions that would be very helpful