Hi Nick,
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. Two months is a huge step; whether you relapse or not, please know that two months clean is something to be proud of. If you've already relapsed, know that it doesn't have to mark the end of your healing; you CAN come back from it and get back on track. And if you haven't, know that there are things you can try that may help you avoid relapsing altogether—or at least mitigate the repercussions.
1- Talk to someone. Reaching out here was a great step. It would be even better if you can talk to your mom about how you're feeling, or your teacher, or a trusted friend. If you have a therapist or counselor, you can and ideally should talk to them and let them help you sort through what's going on.
2- Reconnect with WHY you want to get clean. Write about your reasons. Draw about them. Do whatever you can to remind yourself of what you're working toward, and that it's worth it. Believe me, it IS worth the work.
3. Minimize stress. See if you can figure out anything in particular that's making you feel like you need to SH, and then identify whether it's something you can change (e.g. going to bed earlier so you get more sleep and feel better) or something you can't, but can still control your response to (e.g. you have to go to school, but maybe you can learn some stress reduction techniques to make it a more positive experience -- or at least a less negative one).
For me, journaling, breathing exercises and meditations (especially urge surfing), and CBT workbooks have been a huge help.
I hope this helps. If you have more questions or comments, I'll be able reply to them here for as long as I continue posting on the blog.
Take care,
Kim