Hi Jemma,
I'm sorry to hear about all the difficult things you've been dealing with--SH is never easy, but especially not when you feel alone and alienated, as you've described. Quitting self-harm and recovering can be difficult, but it is definitely possible, and worth it. Please don't give up hope for recovery.
It sounds like you may not have anyone in your personal life you feel you can talk to about what you're going through--at least not in terms of friends. Would it be possible to talk to your mom about it, or do you think that would make things worse? If not her, is there anyone in your family you could perhaps go to? If none of the above, does your school perhaps have free counseling you could take advantage of? Even if you're not ready to talk about your SH yet, just talking to someone about other things you're experiencing and how you're feeling can be a big step toward healing.
Here are some resources you may find helpful as well:
https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
And here are some posts you may find interesting:
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2022/1/stop-hurting-yoursel…
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2022/11/can-you-stop-self-h…
I hope it helped you to reach out, and I hope my answer helped, even if only a little, as well. Take care; I wish you the best of luck and hope you are able to begin healing soon.
Sincerely,
Kim