I was in a bad mood for few weeks and I accepted to go out with a boy that I only knew for a few months. We went to the bar and I saw the people that I live in a same hostel and I go in a same school that I don't really talk to some of them. This boy invited his friends, I thought I could trust him because we lived nearby and we went out a few times and the personality I saw from him was just being nice, We ordered a bottle of tequila, he and his friend were eating food so the only one that drank the most of the bottle was me. After a few minutes I remember I was dead and passed out on the ground, He wasn't that drunk and he was a few years older than me, The only thing I remember is that he opened my mouth by force when I was passed out with the closed eyes and he kissed me in front of the people that I see more than 4 times every day, I was friend with some of the boys and girls but mostly they were boys. When I woke up I was in a hotel alone and I found out that i threw up and puked because there was vomit on my clothes. I started packing up and I came back to the hostel, I saw a few girls and boys so I asked them what happened, They told me after the kiss I was shouting and throwing up everywhere and telling my friends that I'm prettier than them. They told me the cops saw u on the ground so they took pics and we forced to bring you to the hotel because you couldn't go hostel with this situation. They told me that it's ok and this is happening to everyone. But i feel so disgusted by the boy who kissed me by force in front of everyone, I don't remember anything else what if he touched my body in front of them or what if I did stupid thing and they didn't tell me to makes me feel better. I wasn't feeling embarrassed in front of some boys and girls but I was feeling so bad and stressed with the people that weren't my friend and cleaned my vomit and carried me and saw the worst of me specially because I knew some of them were playboys and the girls who talk about you everywhere. I still overthinking and sometimes when I see them throw the window I can't go outside for buying stuff or going to school. I even sent text to all of them that I was sorry and thankful and talked to few of them. I mean they saw me kissing and throwing up everywhere, I didn't want them to think that I'm an alcoholic or someone who making out everyday and going out with older boys.